MY SPIRITUAL JOURNEY – ONE SMALL STEP IS ALL IT TAKES....

My guru (though I never met him nor does he probably know of my existence) always says that Shriman Narayana is so kind and loving that all you need is to take one small step towards and He will not spare any effort to bring you closer to Himself.

I would like to place as a disclaimer in the beginning that wherever I mention the Lord or His various names, it means the Lord and His consort Shri Mahalakshmi together. She is the one who gives the Lord his quality of kindness and benevolence.

It was through listening to Shri Velukkudi Krishnan Swami – my guru – that my idea of God and prayer changed completely. Like millions of devotees I used to pray to and prostrate before all other Gods (or demi-Gods as is referred to by my guru) also, apart from Lord Vishnu. Though from my earlier days I had stopped asking for anything material when I pray, I am guilty of having turned to Gods in tough situations and asking their help. It was through Shri Velukkudi Swami’s discourses I understood the philosophy of Srivaishnavism and the pleasure of surrendering oneself completely to the mercy of Lord Narayana. He insists that we should not ask Him for anything except an escape from the cycle of birth and death, or Moksha as is said in Hindu philosophy. As the Supreme Lord, He knows very well what we need and He will bless us in the right time and as per what our karma entails. The Lord Himself has assured in the Gita that once we have surrendered ourselves to Him, our sins will be excused and Moksha will be granted to us. That doesn’t mean we will be exempted from experiencing the results of our actions. It just means He will make it easier for us to endure them. And He will make us endure all this in the present life and relieve us from the cycle of births and deaths at the end of this life.

Having full conviction on my guru’s teaching and having full faith in Shree Ramanujar and the Azhavars and gurus, we – my wife and I decided that we will try to follow the path of total surrender. This was the one small step that we took – cultivated the desire to achieve total surrender. My experiences which I am writing below are not a proof of my devotion, but of His kindness and His efforts in bringing a devotee closer to Him.

We started experiencing His efforts pulling us to Him at a time when my wife joined me in Africa. I had been living alone for over an year. During this time,  both of us had been listening to discourses by Shree Velukkudi Swamikal. As soon as she had come to Africa we got an invitation to join a Bhajan session by ISKCON. This was the first step to getting us closer to Him and His devotees. We even got the opportunity to hold a few sessions at our house. During this time we met some people who were interested in chanting the Vishnu Sahasranamam one day a week as a group. Already we had been chanting on a daily basis, though the pleasure of chanting loudly in a group is an experience in itself. This got us involved in more spiritual activities. Though we didn’t understand it at that time, this was the beginning of many incidences that showed us that He was constantly guiding and leading us.

On our first visit together to India from Africa we made a brief stopover at Mumbai where my wife’s sister resided. Her husband was very keen about taking us for a darshan at the famous Sidhivinayaka temple, though we weren’t too eager as we had completely turned to the Shrivaishnavite way of life. But then, we had no mind to disappoint him and hence we decided to visit the temple. As he had some work in the bank we decided to first go to the bank and then go to the temple. As we got down from the taxi at the bank we noticed a temple right opposite the bank. My wife, having lived in Mumbai earlier, identified it as the famous Kochu Guruvayoor temple. We felt that Shriman Narayana had made sure we had darshan of Him before we went anywhere else. This was our second experience. We felt overwhelmed.

During that visit we decided to visit Sree Rangam, the temple that occupies the place as number one among the 108 Divya Desams. After the prayers in the temple, we went searching for a pair of Lord’s Feet (Bhagavan Paadam) to be kept at our home and offered prayers. After we have purchased the Lord’s Feet the shopkeeper showed us a small idol of Lord Ranganatha. He said that this was a piece ordered by somebody else who didn’t pick it up and when he saw me he wanted to offer it to me. Being a sales person myself I don’t normally fall for such sales gimmicks. But the idol being made very beautifully and being that of Lord Ranganatha, I decided to purchase.

After returning to Africa I placed the idol at the altar and started daily prayers. I started offering holy bath to the idol on all Fridays. I remembered hearing in one of the discourses that holy bath on Lord Venkateswara is performed only on Fridays. I adopted this more to my convenience and lack of time in the morning. The weather remains cool during most parts of the year at the place where we live and hence we are habituated to taking bath in hot water daily. I found it not right to bathe the Lord in cold water while we enjoy a hot bath. Call this some kind of madness on my part. But I started the practice of offering holy bath to the Lord with hot water. It was quite recently that we heard in one of the discourses, to our sheer joy and surprise, that Lord Ranganatha is offered bath only in hot water. Both of us had tears in our eyes. Unknowingly we had followed a procedure that is being followed at Sree Rangam. This incident clearly proved that once we have surrendered to Him, He will guide us to do the right things.

During our last visit to India, in March 2016, we have many experiences that proved that He was looking after us in every sense. In Kanjeepuram Varadaraja Perumal temple we were offered the opportunity to fan the Lord for a few minutes. This was the daily duty of Thirukachchi Nambigal, with whom the Lord physically conversed regularly. When we visited the Thiruvidaventhai temple, I was very much disappointed that I could not have the darshan of the main idol (Moolavar) of the temple – Shree Varaha Perumal – as the temple was undergoing renovation. My love for this avatar of the Lord started when I started my involvement with Tiruppavai and Andal. My disappointment was beyond words. As we were browsing the various pictures and also looking at what Prasad to eat,(at the temple shop, inside), the main priest of the temple called us. He gave a call and as we looked around to see whom he was calling, he pointed to us and said he meant us. He called us to the temple kitchen and offered us hot Kesari, which had been offered by a devotee and had been offered to Shree Varaha Perumal(the moolavar), just then. I was overjoyed. He had made up for not giving us HIS darshan, by offering us the Prasad.

The latest one of our experiences happened a week back. We had no idea of placing a Salagramam ( a stone representing Lord Vishnu, similar to the Sivalinga which represents Lord Siva) at our altar. The reasons were many. The Salagramam is available only in Nepal, where we had neither plans nor the means to visit. I had no friends residing there or visiting frequently, to whom I could request to bring one for me. I didn’t know the price of a Salagramam. There was also the apprehension of placing one at the altar and in some way failing to follow the right prayer procedures. I also didn’t believe that I had become such a matured devotee to place one at home and offer prayers. Last week my sister and her husband visited us for a brief stay. As soon as they started unpacking they took an object from their bag and offered it to me. What looked like a black stone to me in the beginning turned out to the holy Salagramam itself. Our joy knew no bounds. Though I knew my sister was visiting Nepal I had not specifically asked her to bring a Salagramam for me for reasons mentioned above. She had remembered how I had talked about my change to Sreevaishnavism and our love and devotion to Lord Narayana. So she had purchased one for me. If the Lord wishes me to have a Salagramam at my altar, He will find ways to bring one to me. I later found from sources in the net that installing and offering prayer to Salagramam is a very simple procedure. The reasons mentioned is that the Salagramam, unlike other idols in which the power of  God has to be brought using prayers and poojas, is Lord Himself and He excuses small mistakes in the procedures. So now I have the Salagramam placed in my altar and daily prayers offered.

The above are just a few of our experiences. They continue to happen every day because He guides us in each and every activity. I have limited to a few incidents for fear of making this article too long and laborious to read.

The above experiences do not happen to me alone nor is it because of any special power of my prayers. These experiences happen in everyone’s life. He showers His love on everyone and guides us all in each and every one of our actions. The only way to realize this is to surrender oneself completely to God.  Once we start attributing every event in our life to Him, we will realize how much He takes care of us, how much He guides us and how much effort He takes in bringing us closer to Him. I only hope describing my experiences will make others realize Him and His love.

I dedicate this article at the feet of my guru Shri Velukkudi Swamikal, Shree Ramanujar, Goddess Mahalakshmi and Shriman Narayanan.

THE SABARIMALA CONTROVERSIES

Sabarimala, the divine hill abode of Lord Sri Ayyappa, has been in the news for all the wrong reasons for quite a while. Firstly, it was the case of one of its Tantris being involved in a scandal. Following that there was the controversy surrounding the appearance of a lamp in the horizon during the Makaravilakku season. Recently it involved the argument whether women of a certain age can be allowed to visit the hill shrine. And now, it is the debate over whether the temple can be allowed to remain open all through the year. Despite all the controversies, neither the power of Sri Ayyappa nor the love of His devotees to Him, have reduced even a bit. The media, for dearth of better news, take up each of the controversies and run it again and again till they can find something juicier. Even this time, the news is almost dying as news about dog bites in many cities of Kerala has come into focus. Yet certain things run in my mind and I need to put them down on paper.

I don't mean to hurt the sentiments of anyone by writing this article. If it does so, I may be pardoned for the same.

In the earlier days the hill shrine was mainly visited by people of Kerala state. The journey was difficult and took many days to complete. Even the shorter route to be done on foot, which was earlier from Chalakkayam to the temple, took many days as transport facilities were not enough. The journey was also filled with dangers from wild animals and illness. People carried with them food and utensils to last them through the journey. It was even a practice for the people going to the temple, not to say farewell to the family as many have not returned from the journey having died on the way due to many reasons. However things have changed drastically. Today people can make the journey up and down from many parts of Kerala in a single day. The shorter walk to the temple has become easier now with vehicles being able to go up to Pampa river. 

Before the pilgrims started their journey they observed a strict 41-day vegetarian diet. Along with that they also abstained from consuming liquor and having physical contact with their wives. All this was necessary to prepare them physically for the arduous journey they had to undertake to reach the shrine. Today the journey has become a one-day affair and hence the strict observation of food and other restrictions have also diluted. So much, that many people wear the obligatory garland made of Basil seeds on the day they leave for the shrine and remove it the same night. Many would criticize this. I am not here to judge or comment on that. I am only saying that the formalities and obligations have been diluted mainly because such physical fitness is not necessary as was needed earlier. And the dangers that were present earlier are not there now. Many don't abstain from liquor, non-vegetarian food or sex for the obligatory 41 days. All these have not reduced, in any way, the devotion that people have for the Lord.

The temple was earlier open only during the Mandalam and Makaravilakku seasons. Later the temple was open for 5 days every month. It was open 10 days continuously combining the last 5 days of one month and the first 5 days of the following month. This was done for the convenience of the pilgrims as the numbers started rising and the rush was too high during the seasons. Certainly this was a break from the earlier traditions. 

Looking at the above deviations from traditions, which have happened time to time, I don't see any reason for the present controversy over a suggestion made by the Kerala Chief Minister, that the temple be kept open all round the year. What is wrong with keeping the temple open on all days? The poojas are going to be conducted in the same manner every day. In fact when it is open all the days, the poojas will be conducted every day. It is said that the more pooja conducted to a deity, the more powerful it becomes. So that should be good for the temple and its devotees.

Who are people objecting to this? Mainly it is the Dewaswom Board, the Tantris and some activists. The devotees should be happy because this will mean they can visit the temple any time, without the seasonal rush and worship their dear Lord. Not just that, more facilities will come, because the businessmen will be assured of customers all round the year. The Dewaswom Board, which administers the temple, should also be happy because this will mean more money for the upkeep and maintenance of the temple. The reason for their objection seems to be without any reason. The Tantri may be upset as he would have to spend the whole year at the temple without the break that he would have got otherwise. I don't really know if the Tantri presently has to stay there even during the breaks. 

One cannot fault tradition because almost all of the temples are open throughout the year. The only exceptions are those like Badrinath temple which, due to climatic conditions cannot be kept open all round the year. One cannot say that opening the temple daily will make pilgrims to defy the obligatory restrictions and this will invite the wrath of the Lord. Even now many pilgrims don't observe these requirements. In most other temples around the world, pilgrims don't observe any special restrictions, even at the most popular and most worshipped Balaji temple at Tirupati. 

There are some restrictions to be followed in temples, based on our scriptures. These need not be broken to keep the temple open on all days. But barring that, I frankly feel God will only be happier and more pleased to see more of His devotees come to Him. God is very kind and will pardon anything when you surrender to Him totally.

Swamiye Saranamayyappa.